i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize