So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
