u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
