my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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