sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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