i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
