girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
