We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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