so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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