i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
