Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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