If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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