dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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