So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
