Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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