i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Still dying that you shit outside
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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