Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
