you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
