have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
