Nicole vs. Life
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
