We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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