no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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