My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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