just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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