i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
