so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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