Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
