thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
