White coat. Heels.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize