I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize