420 ftw
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
