Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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