you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
