Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
