I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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