a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
