i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
