Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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