So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
