HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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