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is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
