Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
