there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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