he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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