Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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