Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
