hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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