Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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