The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
