Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
