they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
