hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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