I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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