My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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