Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
