he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
