Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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