Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
