I think I died a long time ago.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
