I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
