So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
