wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
