why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
