Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Where is the hickey?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
