so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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