What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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