I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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