Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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