Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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