i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize