That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I want is dick and wine.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
