Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm like, not good at living.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
