Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
