There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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