i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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