And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just invented taco cereal.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
