i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
