i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
