Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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