dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize