you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
